The Far, Far Away Frog
01 Wednesday Aug 2012
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Taking a healthy look at relationships comes with making the decision to long-distance dating. Loving a frog that is close to your heart but actually lives in another city can be both rough and tiring. But, Princesses contrary to popular opinion, long-distance relationships can work if you’re willing to do what it takes.
My friends Deb and Jeff were dating nearly two years when Deb’s job wanted to transfer her to Los Angeles. Jeff considered heading out west with her but he still had six months on his contract with his company. After much discussion, Deb sadly boarded the plan for LA – thinking this was likely the end to her relationship. Jeff assured her that they could make things work. At the time of this writing, the six months are ending and Jeff’s packing up. I am providing some tips they shared on making things work long-distance.
Skype is your new best friend.
Everyday, no matter how tired, how busy, how bad they looked Deb and Jeff Skyped. Seeing each other’s faces was the best part to the end of a long, hard day. Talking, laughing and just going on about their regular routines helped each of them still feel included in the other’s life. They claim that Skype is going to be the name of their first-born.
Don’t leave sex out in the cold.
Even though they couldn’t physically be together through phones and webcams, Deb and Jeff kept the flame burning. Texting sexy pictures and texts throughout the day helped both to stay enticed and still thinking about the other. Sending care packages was also a life-saver for Deb and Jeff. Tucking love notes, coupons for when you’re together or even some tucked in lingerie helps to remind him you’re still lusting (loving)…
Face and Body Time
Sharing intimacy via technology does get old and can bring insecurity to the relationship, as you don’t have physical face time. It’s important to still travel out at least every six weeks (that was Deb and Jeff’s rule) to remember why the two of you still love each other. Of course, so much emotion is packed into these short visits… bringing us to the next piece of advice…
Okay, this is not so realistic and even Deb and Jeff won’t cop to following 100 percent, but taking the time to talk things through rather than finding you pent up the “missing you anger and hurt” really helps to squelch those feelings and create opportunities to still grow the relationship – even when you’re not together. Accepting that this really is hard will help you work through it.
If one of you starts feeling like you’re doing all the hard work – those feelings will only lead to resentment. Deb made sure to fly out just as many times as Jeff did so that no one ever felt that they were putting more into the long distance burden than the other. Jeff made sure to send flowers, cards and reassuring words knowing that Deb felt so far removed from their life together.
Yes, Princesses, its hard work to love a frog from a-far. Eventually, for many, if things are going to work out someone will have to compromise a permanent home. But, it’s oh-so-worth it when you’re both together in one palace, rockin’ the house.
Kris… from the Dating Pond